I Hate Him
by britnimiles
Summary: Song Fic. This my first attempt so be gentle. This takes place after "Marti the Monster" through adulthood. Dasey. Song is 'I Hate Him' by Sarah Solovay. Please review!


I do not own LWD or "I Hate Him" by Sarah Solovoy!

 _He's got a crooked smile and big brown eyes,_

 _He's not that handsome but he keeps them mesmerized,_

 _With his endless string of jokes and his lovely little lies,_

 _He makes it seem so effortless, he's that kind of guy..._

I don't get why so many girls fawn all over him. _Derek._ His reputation is almost as big as his ego! I know most of the girls he takes out have the IQ of a gold fish, but occasionally he somehow tricks perfectly smart young women into crushing on him. Just look at poor Emily. And Sandra? How did he manage that one? He was caught red handed in one of his lies. It's like he doesn't even have to try. Everything comes to him so effortlessly. Lord of Lies gets out of another scrap, no problem. And even if you can get past the skirt chasing cad of it all, he's not even that cute. He's all smirk and leather jacket. I mean as an objective opinion; his dark brown eyes are a bit intriguing… On the other hand, she did think I was his GIRLFRIEND! So maybe she's not so bright after all.

 _But he never ever admits it when he's wrong,_

 _Won't drop a fight until he knows he won,_

 _He never keeps a girlfriend for too long,_

 _Cause you can't tell if he loves you or if he's just leading you on..._

After the whole "Male Code" incident, I thought maybe he had learned his lesson and finally leave me alone. But if anything, he's gotten worse. The pranks are a daily occurrence now between his many dates. I don't know how he finds the time. If he put half the effort into his school work as he did in making my life miserable, he could actually earn the marks Edwin gets him on those last-minute projects. He's newest prank is probably the cruelest; and I'm the one who gave him the idea. How was I supposed to know Derek wasn't already planning on using Emily to get back at me? And it's not like he had to go after her, because of my comment. But here I am, spying, trying to protect her from the broken heart that is bound to happen. He doesn't _do_ serious relationships and he's never been interested in Emily before. He's just leading her on to get back at me for dating Sam.

 _And I hate him cause an alarm in his head goes off whenever he's out of mine,_

 _And I hate him 'cause then he calls at 2 a.m. and keeps me up all night,_

 _And I hate him cause everyone else pales next to his bright light,_

 _But I love him 'cause he's the only thing that makes me feel alive..._

Max. The captain of the football team, the hottest guy at our school in my humble opinion, and one of the most popular guys at Thompson High, second only to _Der.._ Nope. Not going there. Max is right. I think and talk about my annoying step-brother far too much. But no, he's not right. According to him, I should just _let_ Derek get beat up? I know, I promised not to be involved in his shenanigans or to let his pranks get to me. And I've lived up to that promise. Mostly. He always finds a way to grab my attention when I really want it to be on _anything_ else. It doesn't matter anyway. I CAN'T let him get into a fight. Ryan is huge! Derek could really get hurt. That's it, I'm putting a stop to this.

 _I promised myself I wouldn't be that girl,_

 _To make a single boy her world,_

 _But things can get so crazy, oh you learn,_

 _Control don't matter at all, either way you get burned..._

I should have noticed. The subtle changes in me. The way we slowly became friends, being there for each other without having to ask. The way my stomach flutters when I see him with Marti. The way I kept picking fights just to be close to him because he was always with _Sally._ By the time she came into his life, I had started to realize something was wrong with me. I had never thought of him as a brother, sure, but I started to feel this underlining attraction that had somehow always been there; I just never took the time to notice. It really began to hit me when Derek came to me to help him write that song for Sally. My stomach felt like it would never unclench. After we performed the song and Sally kissed Derek in front of everyone, that's when I felt it. Jealousy, over _Derek._ Once I realized I had feelings for my STEP BROTHER, I decided to do a very stupid thing. I dated a poor woman's Derek, Truman. I knew from the start it was a bad idea, but I needed a distraction from the Derek and Sally soap opera. It was interesting for a while; I even developed feelings for him. Then like all things I do to spite Derek, it blew up in my face. I caught him with Vickie of all people. I was heartbroken, still am a little. But, Derek, the way he stood up for me and then had my mom stay up for me? Yeah, even I'm not dense enough to ignore a big blinking sign like this. I'm falling for Derek Venturi.

 _So I took a chance and let him in,_

 _He let me down, fell to the lowest place I've ever been,_

 _Too scared to pick myself up 'cause I know what'll happen,_

 _The whole thing will just start over again..._

 _Oh,_

This is a huge opportunity; dancing for Bernard Blue on Broadway, for Pete's sake! I should be over the moon right now. But am I? No. My world is spinning, and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm on the verge of a full blown 'Casey meltdown'. I have a pros and cons list a mile long about whether to go to Queens or New York. On one hand, I'll be able to stay with my dad and get to know each other again. I wouldn't completely be alone, Jesse got the same offer as I did. I'd be able to have a real career as a dancer. It's a dream I never dared let myself think of. Even Gran is behind it, after all the problems we've had this trip. On the other hand, Queens is a great school. And, of course, there is one big reason to go. Derek. But he's my step brother. Nothing will ever happen between us. He made it very clear when I asked him what I should do. "I don't know why you're asking me, but go to New York, Space Case. It's a good opportunity for you, plus it would make Queens a lot more bearable without you there breathing down my neck." He said it with his trademark smirk. I know he was kidding, but I was opening up to him. Silently begging him to tell me to stay. I thought maybe, just maybe, I was reading the signs right. Asking me to pick him over my gran, and constantly interrupting Jesse and I. Plus I could have sworn, he was starting to feel the way I did when we've been fighting. Like this spark between us. But I'm Klutzilla, his annoying, keener _step-sister._

 _So I hate him cause an alarm in his head goes off whenever he's out of mine,_

 _And I hate him 'cause then he calls at 2 a.m. and keeps me up all night,_

 _And I hate him cause everyone else pales next to his bright light,_

 _But I loved him 'cause he's the only thing that makes me feel alive..._

I can't sleep. I wish I was home in my own bed. My dad has been at work all night and his apartment is creepy when I'm alone. This is supposed to help me choose whether I want to stay here and follow my dream. I have two days left before I have to give Bernard Blue the answer. I honestly can't figure out what I'm going to do. I turn over trying to find another position to sleep in. Just as I'm about to fall asleep my phone starts ringing. I squint at the light blazing in the dark. "Hello?"

"Spacey!" Derek yells into the phone.

I squeal at the volume. "Der-ek! It's almost two in the morning! Why are you calling me?"

"Come on, Case. You know you wanted me to call you." He's slurring a little and I hear loud music in the back ground. Ten bucks says he's at Kendra's end of the summer party.

"Derek, it's late. What do you want?" I bite out. I don't have it in me to deal with him anymore. It just hurts too much.

"Caseyyy," he whines, "come home. You can't just leave."

I suck in a breath. "You told me to come here. I'm just doing what you told me to."

Derek howls laughter into the phone. "Since when do you listen to me? I thought telling you to go would make you stay."

"In what world, does that make sense?" I screech. I sit up trying to make it easier for me to get air in and out of my lungs normally.

"Since when does anything between us make sense, _sis?"_

"Der-ek!" Of course, he would be like this. What was I expecting?

"Ah, music to my ears. See if your gone, I won't get to hear my name like that."

"Like what? Angry and filled with contempt?" I hiss.

"No," he pauses for a moment, the music gets fainter. "broken perfectly in half. I'd miss that. I'd miss…"

Please, _please_ finish. Say it. Say you'll miss me.

"I'd, you know, I'd miss…pranking you and stuff. Besides, you'd have a lot more fun at Queens than you would up there with all those 'fancy dancers'."

I can't help it, I laugh. This is Derek. He doesn't do _feelings._ "Well, I might, just a smidge, miss you." I whisper.

His breath catches, and he doesn't say anything.

"Der?"

"Come home, Case." His voice is strained.

"Derek," I sigh.

"Please," he whispers.

 _I want him as my first "I love you,_

 _Want him to kiss me in the rain_

 _I want to hear "I've been thinking of you,"_

 _I want the rest to go away,_

 _'Cause he's perfect, oh he's perfect,_

 _In every single way,_

 _But he plays these games,_

 _And I can't tolerate it..._

"Der-ek! We can't keep doing this. _You_ can't keep doing this. Something has to give." I yell standing toe to toe with him. We're in our apartment a block away from Queens. Fighting yet again.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Case." He runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Yes. You do. You're just too coward to say anything." I yell and shove him down on the couch.

He bounces right back up in my face, "Hey, I'm no coward."

"Then why? Why do you have a problem with yet another guy whose asked me out on a date?"

"Steven? He's a loser. You don't want to date him trust me. Raise your standards. Stop being so desperate for that college boyfriend of your dreams."

"Desperate? Excuse me, but he's not a loser. He's the TA for my Psych 101 class. He's smart and funny. I could do a lot worse." I huff. This is the billionth time we've fought about a guy since our first semester at college. I'm tired of all this around and around fighting we have going on. Living with Derek is easier here, without siblings and parents. There's no front we have to put on and it's just us. There's still fights and pranks. Because he is Derek and I am Casey, but this is the part that's unbearable. I want it to be because he wants to be with me.

"Funny looking, maybe. Come on, Case. You really think this guy is _the one_?" he smirks in that way that makes me want to kiss him to shut him up.

"No. I don't, but I think I deserve to go out and have fun. Since obviously, the one person I want is never going to make a move. I need to move on. It's healthy." I tear up. I can't do this anymore. We've shared so many moments; sometimes it's so clear he feels the way I do. But I know he'll never want to be with me. I've made my peace with that.

"Casey." He starts, moving to touch my arm. I shake out of his grasp.

"No, Derek. I can't do this with you anymore. It's not good for me. Darla's been begging me to get an apartment with her. I think..I think next fall it would be better if we went our separate ways." I'm trying so hard not to let the tears fall. I turn to head to my room.

"Wait, Case!" he yells turning me to face him.

I look towards the ceiling, which is in desperate need of cleaning, to stop the tears. "What, Derek?"

"Don't leave. Please. You can't." his voice is gentle. Gentler than it's been since he told me not to stay in New York.

I brave a look at his face. "Why?"

"Why?" he asks looking confused.

"Yes, why. Tell me why you want me to stay."

His silence is all I need. I turn and head for my room. Just as I'm about to go in, I hear him running down the hall towards me.

Then he's kissing me. And I lose all coherent thought. His hands are in my hair and he's holding me so close. I feel like I can finally breath after leaving for New York to see my dad. I kiss him back with all that I have.

"Stay with me." He begs when we break apart.

I sigh and lean my forehead against his. "Okay."

 _I hate him 'cause he's the song in my head I'm singing all the time,_

 _Hate it 'cause it's the same old melody with a pretty simple rhyme,_

 _But there's a glitch in the technology and it plays on repeat,_

 _Over and over the same thing happens to me..._

We broke it to the family about a year later that we were together. Because he was Derek and he loved the secrecy of it. And, because, like me, he wanted to make sure we would make it before we got everyone else involved. Edwin and Lizzie both had years of research pointing to this conclusion, but each handed over twenty bucks to Marti who knew we were together the first summer after college. Mom cried, and George was dumbfounded. But otherwise it was uneventful. Our friends apparently knew it was a destined to happen years ago. Derek still didn't talk about feelings all the time, but was the first one to say, 'I love you'. Funnily enough, he said it right after his hockey team lost by one point during the semifinals. Yes, he got me to go his games despite them being overly violent. That game was unbelievable. I was so upset for him. I was in the middle of a tirade meeting him outside the locker room and he just kissed me. Right then and there. No care in the world about his no PDA policy. Then when he broke away he whispered, "I love you, Spacey.". Of course, I cried and said it back. But he has gotten used to the tears over the years, so he just smiled and held me tight.

 _I hate him cause an alarm in his head goes off whenever he's out of mine,_

 _And I hate him 'cause then he calls at 2 a.m. and keeps me up all night,_

 _And I hate him cause everyone else pales next to his bright light,_

 _But I loved him 'cause he's the only thing that makes me feel alive._

We've been together for four years now and it's never stopped being new and exciting. Everyday with him is another adventure. He's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I'm the person he gave up being a skirt chasing cad for. It's all a little too perfect for me to comprehend. Especially today. Dad and George are on each side of me as the music starts. No one would have ever guessed this would happen. Even I would have been content to just be with him for the rest of our lives. But Derek did it, he asked me to marry him in front of our big and dysfunctional family last Thanksgiving. It was equally corny and nonchalant. And just plain Derek. As I reach the end of the isle, George and my dad pass me off to him. As we take our places at the altar, he brushes a lose curl out of my face. "You ready to live a little dangerously?" he whispers in my ear. I grin up at him. "Danger? Hmm, I think its about to be my last name."


End file.
